I have a special laugh that I only use when I almost run into a stranger. Usually this happens when I am distractedly leaving a room-- today it was as I left the restroom to go study, because I was thinking about Mr. Rogers and his not-so-secret 143 code.
Anyway I love bumping into strangers because it is the perfect everyday amount of embarrassing. I will laugh my bumping-into-strangers-laugh, she will smile awkwardly, I will apologize, and we both go on our ways. I also love bumping into strangers because it requires that we both stop and make brief eye contact and notice something about each other. Today my stranger had long black hair and smiled mostly without involving her teeth. I would never have noticed this about her if I hadn't almost run her over.
I'm trying to invite embarrassment into my life more. Living passionately necessitates humiliation, so I am performing at open-mic nights and making brutal small talk with people whom I've got nothing in common with. Wincing after a social interaction is starting to feel like victory, so I think I'm doing it right.
If you were wondering, my special laugh for bumping into strangers and is three quick laughs, lower pitched than my standard laugh and a little quieter than normal, too. I usually start to smile halfway through it, so the first laugh is mostly surprise and it becomes joyful a laugh and a half into the process. When I was younger I was very self-conscious about my laugh (yes, I snorted) so I'm trying to notice and appreciate my laughter more often. I can't meditate, but I can notice and appreciate, and stretch that skill like a muscle every day.
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